Coping & Counselling

This section is primarily concerned with books dealing with different issues that people face.  Re:fresh books & christian resources has an extensive selection of books offering help for different situations and needs.  This page lists just a few of these books.

Do come and browse.  We offer a free cup of Fairtrade tea or coffee, and seating, if you want to look through books.  In fine weather, you can sit in our garden

If you are looking for personal help with issues such as depression, addiction, bereavement etc. click HERE for a list of peope offering personal counselling. For a list of local Christian Agencies offering counselling and other services click HERE

 

When Life Hurts by Philip Yancey

This popular little book by best-selling author Philip Yancey contains brief reflections together with poems and helpful scriptures, for times when you wonder why God creaed pain, when you doubt God's power, when God seems unfair, when we wonder if he cares and when we feel in need of God's love.  59 pages Hardback.

Living through Grief by Harold Bauman

Another popular book designed to offer strength and hope in time of loss.  Beautifully produced by Lion it has brief thoughts which follow the process of sorrow through shock, numbness, fantasy and guilt, release and painful memories to learning to live again.  It also has sections on what to tell young children, accepting death, adjustment and hope beyond the grave.  45 pages  Hardback.

Walking into the Light - Eddie Askew
A journey through grief in poems, prayers and thoughts.

Eddie Askew died in September 2007.  His writings had inspired many.  This book, compiled by his daughters, is a collection of his last poems and paintings, together with previously unpublished extracts from his journal, extracts from his books and anecdotes from his family.  This collection, borne out bereavement, offers strength for others as they travel the pathway of grief.

Stories from the Edge
A practical resource for youth workers by Dave Wiles

The Chief Executive of Frontier Youth Trust presents more than 30 stories of young people at risk, including his own story, to help youth and community workers to a deeper understanding and love for those with whom they work.  Six chapters look at  dads and lads, fights and drugs, comfort and risk, youth culture and gangs, interpersonal contemplation, and sins and blunders.  Each chapter includes real-life stories, insights and questions to promote thought and discussion

TRUE COLORS A novel way to tackle problems faced by teenage girls. The TrueColors Series of books by Melody Carlson, published by Navpress, is a series of novels which addresses issues faced by teenage girls today - including self-harm, jealousy, alcohol and sex.  There are currently twelve in the series.  Click HERE for details.

Captured by a Better Vision - Living porn-free
by Tim Chester (IVP)

A book for men about winning the fight against pornography.  Tim Chester's book is suitable for those for whom pornography is a personal problem or those who want to help others affected.  Following an online survey and extensive research, Tim Chester outlines the extent of the problem in society and in the church.  He focuses on strategies to beat it - supremely to feed our minds on Christ.

Forgiving the Impossible ? - From abuse to freedom and hope by Greta Randle (IVP)

As a child, Greta Randle was subjected to abuse at the hands of her church pastor.  Trapped, she could see no way out.  Her dramatic story of a journey through revulsion, anger, depression and bitterness has an unexpected ending.
Today, Greta Randle is Chief Executive Officer of the Association of Christian Counsellors and plays a key role in helping other victims of abuse.

Let's Stick Together - The relationship book for new parents by Harry Benson (Lion)

40% of British 15 year-olds  no longer live with both parents; one in five children see their parents separate before the end of their first year in school.  The excitement and pressures of parenthood often mean that a couple's relationship is overlooked.
Harry Benson suggests three "good habits" that will help keep love alive and protect a relationship through the pressures of parenting.

 
Learning to Let Go - Making the Transition into Residential Care by Penelope Wilcock (Lion)

"How I wish I'd had this book a couple of years ago!" says Pam Rhodes in the Foreword to this helpful book.  Writing for elderly people and their families, Penelope Wilcock guides her readers through the practical and emotional issues involved in preparing for residential care.  She looks at the difficult questions faced, discusses the marks of a well-run care home and suggests ways in which families and staff can offer the best care and help an elderly person to retain their identity.

Be Still my Soul - Embracing God's purpose and provision in suffering Edited by Nancy Guthrie (IVP)

This is a collection of writings by 25 writers, ancient and modern, on the problem of pain edited by somebody who has known the heartake through the loss of two children.  The book is divided into three sections - God's perspective on suffering, God's purpose in suffering and God's provision in suffering.  Writers include Joni Eareckson Tada, John Calvin, Dietrich Bonhoffer, Philip Yancey, Helen Roseveare, St. Augustine, Corrie ten Boom and John Piper.

NEW SERIES  First Steps out of... First Steps is a new series of short, affordable self-help guides from Lion covering social issues such as problem drinking, depression and eating disorders.  Whilst suitable for family members or those seeking to help people with problems, they are primarily aimed at the sufferers. Each book analyses the issues and gives practical advice for sufferers together with "Mythbusters", a chapter "For the Family" and a list of resources.  Suitable for Christians or non-Christians.  £4.99 each. re:fresh suggestion: Church leaders might consider placing a supply of these in a suitable position with a 'trust the customer' payment box nearby so that members of their congregation can buy copies without other people knowing. First Steps out of Problem Drinking by John McMahon This 95-page book provides useful information to help people determine just where they are at, defining terms like binge drinking, alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence, what a 'unit' of alcohol means in practice, and the physical effects of different quantities of alcohol.  It then goes on to provide practical guidance on setting goals, reducing alcohol consumption and avoiding relapses.   The author runs an online resource for those wishing to cut down on their drinking and was once alcohol dependent. First Steps out of Eating Disorders by Dr Kate Middleton & Dr Jane Smith As many as 5% of the population, including some men, suffer from eating disorders.  This sympathetically-written book offers hope to those with eating disorders and to their families.  One of the writers is the director of the charity Anorexia & Bulimia Care and has supported her own daughter through an eating disorder to full recovery.  The authors explain the nature and causes of eating disorders and give guidance on getting back in control.  However, they are careful to stress that the book is an introduction and not a substitute for seeking expert advice.  First Steps out of Depression by Sue Atkinson "Depression will affect one in every four or five people at some point" according to the writer of this book, someone who has herself suffered depression.  This book is full of helpful but challenging material from Chapter One - "Staying in bed vs Grabbing the moment" as it presents the choices sufferers may face such as Doing what others want vs Making our own decisions ... Blaming others vs taking responsibility ... hanging on to resentment vs deciding to let go. First Steps out of Anxiety by Dr Kate Middleton We all suffer anxiety to some degree, it is a vital part of being alive and helps us achieve our goals and avoid disaster but it can also be a problem when, for example, it manifests itself as phobias or panic attacks.  Psychologist Kate Middleton reveals how anxiety works - in our thought patterns and our bodies' chemicals.  Drawing on real-life stories as well as her own experience of overcoming a phobia, she charts a path to recovery. Two more books in this series are scheduled for publication in 2011:-      First Steps out of Gambling      First Steps through Bereavement

Could it be Dementia? by Louise Morse and Roger Hitchens

Losing your mind doesn't mean losing your soul.  This book puts dementia into a Christian context, insisting that loss of memory or reason does not mean a person is worthless. Dementia is in the headlines on a daily basis.  Dementia raises disturbing questions for the Christian: Why does a godly man begin to use language that has always been anathema to him? Why does a loving mother become stubborn, and suspicious? Where is God in all of this? This book offers information and reassurance gleaned from the extensive experience of Pilgrim Homes, a network of nine Christian care homes and a foundation going back to 1807.

Dementia by Louise Morse
New Understanding, New Hope

This book describes how a new understanding of dementia is leading to better care, helping to maintain the personality of the sufferer. It also offers practical, day to day advice from a hands-on perspective, using a narrative structure.
It follows the story of an older couple, Linda and Frank. Frank develops dementia. The story covers the first, early signs and the development of the disease; the couple's struggle to manage and find help, the wife's failing health and the search for a suitable care home, and life after Frank goes to live in the home. An index at the back of the book allows readers to look up help on specific topics. Throughout, the narrative keeps a clear Christian perspective. For example, Linda finds that singing familiar hymns as she dusts around the house not only helps her feel better, but lifts Frank's spirits, too, and he will sometimes join in. Each chapter concludes with a short section of devotions for carers and sufferers.

Coping with depression by Siang-Yang Tan and John Ortberg

Having looked at understanding depression, the authors go on to ask ‘how are you feeling?’, ‘what are you doing?’ and ‘how are you thinking?’ They describe how each of these may be linked with depression and offer “highly practical and proven strategies for coping”. The book ends with an interesting case study of someone wrestling with depression. It balances a spiritual approach with recent scientific research, and is a useful resource for those suffering with depression or caring for someone who does. 

Seeing Beyond Depression by Jean Vanier

In this book Jean Vanier has written simply and clearly about depression. Chapters include  ‘depression, a real illness or a wounded heart?’, ‘understanding depression’, ‘knowing how to rest’, ‘going down into the darkness’,  ‘a crisis which can set us free’.

Vanier talks in an honest way about the darkness of depression, and in the later part of the book explores how we can move beyond depression, out of the darkness and into the light.

Life on the dark side of the Cross (Supporting Depressed people) by Ali Walton - £2.75

This booklet examines the facts about depression, and then goes on to look at the different phases of depression and the help that we can offer to those who are suffering in this way. This would be useful for anyone involved in pastoral ministry.

Sharing the Darkness (The Spirituality of caring)
by Sheila Cassidy - £10.95

Sharing the Darkness is about the nature and cost of Christian discipleship in the front line of caring”. Sheila writes from the perspective of a professional ‘carer’ . She shares her own experiences of brokenness and depression, and highlights the need for those in a caring role to also care for themselves -  “do we not owe it to those we serve to accept our limitations and cherish our minds and bodies so that we will be available to serve them a little longer?” (p.84).

This is a book which will be of help to those in any kind of caring role, and is both challenging and inspiring.

 Overcoming negative self image by Neil T. Anderson

This book begins by examining how we have all learned to see ourselves from the world’s viewpoint, and goes on to explain how we can learn to see ourselves from God’s viewpoint. This is by learning to understand who we are as Christians, and grasping the reality of God’s unconditional love for us. This sets us free and can empower us to live life in a new way.

This book is based on the popular ‘Victory over the darkness’ series. It is well presented and thoughtfully illustrated with practical examples of how these principles work in our every day lives.

Overcoming Doubt by Neil T. Anderson

Everyone has doubts… Persistent doubting, however, can affect your mental health… Neil Anderson looks at the nature of both doubt and faith and the battle for the mind. He encourages the reader to move beyond doubt into a wholehearted and fruitful life.

This easy to read book also contains thought-provoking questions to enable the reader to go deeper and to apply the material to their own life.

Desperate Dependence by Max Davis

“When you reach the end, God’s best begins”  In this book, Max Davis grapples with the questions raised by pain and suffering. One of his main themes is that in times of desperation we become aware of our own helplessness and our need to depend on God. He gives some helpful examples of how this has worked out in people’s lives.

A clearly written book, useful for those grappling with hard questions about life and difficult times, or for those walking with people in this place.